Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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