i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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