Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
This house was built for laser tag.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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