you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
