wat bout pragnant strippers??
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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