Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
