just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize