he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
