I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
