Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
