we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize