don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
