Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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