I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
