Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
