How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
