from now on my penis is your penis
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
