What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize