never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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