sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
