K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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