God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
