The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
