never play flip cup with pint glasses
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You need Xanax blowdarts
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
