She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
