Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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