If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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