I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
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