can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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