I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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