The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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