So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
