is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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