I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
