Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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