Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
