cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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