Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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