Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
