I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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