ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
They are going to name an STD after you.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
