do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
