So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The power of my boobs compel you
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
