I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
