Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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