Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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