Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
