Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
