David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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