You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
soo... how was my night?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
