Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
