porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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