then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
