He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
