saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
