her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I had to cum in my sink.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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