Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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