We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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