New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
