i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
